What moving on feels like

Have you ever felt completely broken because of your past life/experiences? If yes, you’re not alone since there is already 7.8 billion people in the club. Every person must move on from the past to better days ahead after a point in time. Wanting to move one is a common feeling. But why is it so hard?

According to me, moving on requires a lot of patience. It may take days, months or even years. Nobody can come up with an estimated time. It differs for every person in the trial. Meanwhile, the ‘moving on’ or the ‘transition’ phase is going to be a rollercoaster of all possible emotions. I’d like to share the series of emotions that I went through/going through in life.

1. Seeking to be understood

It is like you become so complex during hard times in life. You expect someone to lend you shoulders to cry on when you’re not ready to share your feelings with anyone. There could be times when you feel like there is not enough moral support from your loved ones. You desperately long for someone to understand you just by seeing through your eyes.

2. Questioning your self-worth

The even worse part during ‘moving on’ phase is when you question your self-worth. You may think you’re not good enough or deserve happiness in life. For example, I had many ‘what if’ and ‘I wish’ moments after my dad passed away. My friends had to constantly console me that I did my best to make my dad proud.

3. Stressing about the uncertain future

The more you think about moving on in life, the more you become concerned about how things will unfold in future. At some point in time, there is nothing but emptiness in mind when you think of your future plans. Stressing about the uncertain future is the most underrated feeling when it comes to moving on once you lose someone so close to your heart.

4. Taking time to accept reality

This is the first thing that hits you through during the death of a valued one. Coping with the loss is not easy at all. It takes time for you to accept reality. You secretly wish it was all a dream despite being very mature with your life decisions in the past. For example, sometimes I wished that my dad would come out of his room like nothing ever happened to him with absolute best of health. And it is alright to feel that way since it helps you to acknowledge the reality better.

5. Expressing anger ineffectively

You may tend to express all the remaining pile of grief as anger… the anger of being left with no choice for your unfavourable outcomes. Your family member or a friend who were not there with you during your loss would become a convenient target. In that case, it is always better to sort things out by letting them know your concerns in order to move forward with a clear state of mind. Storing all the unsatisfactory moments and doubts in your mind will only cause more problems in future.

6. Longing for love

Sometimes you throw out all your bad side to your loved ones and still expect them to deal with it all. Moving on is not easy for everyone out there. Some people on ‘moving on’ phase become very complicated to even have interactions with. But trust me, a tad bit of love can bring a huge difference to someone who is finding it difficult to move on.

My final thoughts

If you are going through a tough phase in life, please remind yourself that it is ok to feel like you’re all over the place. It usually takes time to heal an injured wound. Likewise, experiencing different emotions over your greatest loss of someone/something in life means you’re becoming stronger to survive the rest of your life.

This, too, shall pass…