Why loneliness is dangerous

Being lonely and not disturbed by the outside world could be a detox to many of us during hard times. On the contrary, things could end up bad when you decide to be lonely all the time. It is so dangerously addictive. In brief, you do not want to deal with people anymore; people who looked down on you, bullied you, talked ill about you behind your back or anything that was not very pleasant. As a result, you may limit your interaction with true and loyal well-wishers too. If you keep restricting the boundaries like that, it will only be a matter of time before you lose all of them. The worst part is you can’t go back in time and change everything! It is going to be embarrassing and hell a lot of cringeworthy when you finally come out of the rock and try to get social.

Why do you feel lonely?

There are many reasons why people usually feel lonely. Following are some of the root causes of thousand other reasons out there.

• There are people who feel lonely after losing a loved one (breakup, death), moving to a new workplace/university/neighbourhood. It is temporary, although it may seem forever sometimes.
• Some people intentionally self isolate them due to anxiety, depression, trauma or even upbringing. Later, they are prone to negativity and other serious problems in life.
• Lack of family time in childhood is one of the reasons why most adults become socially awkward.
• A few kids end up becoming school dropouts when they don’t get along with classmates due to self doubts.
• Previous bad experiences in any relationship could make it difficult to trust new people in life.

How does loneliness affect you?

It is completely a personalised feeling for different people. Check out my blog on What it’s like to be in the middle of nowhere for better insight into loneliness. Given below are a few signs of chronic loneliness.

• You are more inclined to negativity than positivity. You focus on one bad memory even when there are many good memories with your loved ones. Furthermore, you always pay attention to negative social information.
• You become hostile and more sensitive to rejection.
• People may think twice before approaching you. They seldom know you own a heart that secretly longs for friendship, care, love and attention!
• All that unwanted stress and overthinking may lead to suicidal thoughts.

How can you get rid of loneliness?

It is not rocket science, but it is not an overnight achievement as well. In the first place, you must let go of  your insecurities, misconceptions, fear of judgements (read my blog on how to get rid of the fear of judgement) and most importantly, ego. Here are some basic tips you can follow to be more socially active.

• You can call your best friend, favourite person, or family to talk about the day, life in general, politics, latest news, or anything that showers out positivity. It is ok if you struggle to build the conversation, the idea is to listen more. It automatically develops conversation, connection and love.
• Take part in social activities like the little games conducted in your workplace, a social media contest, or basically anything that provides an opportunity to meet new people. It breaks all the barriers that you have in your mind.
• Try to see the best in your loved ones even when there are couple of things to complain about. Approach your life with an optimistic outlook.
• People who love you are not going to remember how unfriendly you were in the past. Take a stroll in the nearby park, try looking at people who come there often, and smile. And if possible, wish them a good day. It is not that hard to be friendly. 🙂